I Need Help Scoring My Ged Essay?

I am taking a practice GED test and I need someone to score it for me. Here is how to grade it:
HOW THE ESSAY IS SCORED
Each GED essay is read and scored by 2 trained readers. They read the paper as a whole evaluating it’s overall effectiveness, so your paper can have a few errors and you can still get a very good grade. They are looking for logic and a complete, well supported answer to the question
The score used by the GED readers ranges from 1 (low) to 4 (high). The 2 readers’ scores are then averaged. You must receive at least a 2 on the Essay test to pass this portion.
WHAT EACH GRADE ON THE 1 TO 4 MEANS
1 – Papers with a grade of 1 lack a clear plan of action and organization. They show great weakness in skills such as grammar, usage, punctuation, spelling, and the ability to write correct and logical sentences and paragraphs. The writer of a “1″ paper has not proven his or her point, and he or she has provided very weak details or examples. The level of reasoning is very poor and displays a lack of understanding of the thesis, or main point
2 – Papers with a grade of 2 are not well organized ; they simply list details rather than developing supporting examples. While the purpose may be correctly stated in a “2″ paper, (unlike the “1″ paper, which does not make a point at all), it is not well-supported with details and examples. These papers also display weakness in writing skills, as in “1″ papers.
3 – Papers with a grade of 3 show a clear plan and method of organization, although the supporting details could be stronger. The ideas presented may not always be related to the topic. Some errors in usage in skills are evident, but these are not intrusive enough to distract or confuse the reader or to destroy the plan of action or the point being made.
4 – Papers with a grade of 4 show very clear organization and enough support for each point being made so that the topic is well-proven. The reader is convinced of the logic of the writer’s argument. These papers have a flair, or style, in word and example choices that clearly demonstrates the writer’s ideas and maturity. The supporting details are effective because they are specific, and they very clearly prove the point under discussion. There may be a few errors, but the writer of a grade 4 paper clearly shows an understanding of the rules of English grammar and usage.
The Topic is: “Some people think that a vegetarian diet is good for you. Others believe that this is an unnatural diet for human beings. What do you think Write a composition of about 250 words in which you give your opinion on this issue. Be specific and use examples from your own experience and knowledge to support your views.”
Here is my essay written exactly as it is on paper:
Vegetables are an important part of our diet, but is it safe to limit yourself. Typical vegetarians choose that way of life for many reasons, animal cruelty, unnatural, and some believe it is safer than eating meat. In the following essay I plan to discuss these reasons and how it is a safe personal choice.
Animal cruelty is the most common reason why people choose to be vegetarian. The horrible way of how our meat is prepared and packaged is enough to make anyone want to give it up. This brings me to my second reason for this choice. No one can say for sure that eating meat is unnatural. Most animals have been known to eat other animals. It is most likely that vegetarians view eating meat as unnatural because of the way it is provided to us. The rest see it as unnatural because we are eating our fellow creatures. Which leaves us to choose whether or not to eat meat for our own survival or to change our diet for a possibly healthier alternative, which brings me to my final reason.
Meat, is it really safe. There has been no proof on either side that would determine which is healthier. Sometimes when there becomes a problem with the meat it can be hazardous to our health. However because vegetarians limit themselves on what they eat they lose vital nutritions such as iron. The only way to remain healthy is to eat a balanced diet or to take the proper precautions such as vitamins.
In conclusion a vegetarian diet can be healthier but might be unnatural. It really is up to the person. While it is not my choice vegetarianism is a safe personal choice.
I did the best I could to type it exactly as written so grade exactly by the rules. Oh and please wrtie a small explanation as to why you gave that score. Thank you.

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2 Responses to “I Need Help Scoring My Ged Essay?”

  1. KoKoKiTTy is depressed on February 9th, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    First line tells me you made a 1 or a 2.
    I skimmed, and see a lot of problems
    Point of view: NEVER write an essay with you, yourself, etc. Always refer to you, or someone in general, as “one, oneself”
    You have some grammatical errors and comma splices.

  2. Your essay is not based on real facts. Iron is found in green leafy vegetables like broccoli and spinach.
    You need more organization and a better use of vocabulary. For example, you say “The only way to remain healthy is to eat a balanced diet or to take the proper precautions such as vitamins.” Precautions is the wrong word choice in this situation. You should have said dietary supplements.
    I would give you a 1.
    Sorry, but I’m being honest.

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